Trick-or-Treat at the Natural Baby

Join us on Halloween, October 31, 2009 from 4-6PM at the Natural Baby in Downtown Watkinsville for Trick-or-Treat and FREE portrait sessions of your child in costume! You can donate for Zoe at this event. Photographs will be available for a small fee.

Also, we will have ornaments as well as bracelets that can be picked up! We hope to see everyone there!!

Zoe in the Pumpkin Patch

I took Zoe down to Rocky Ridge Farms Pumpkin Patch. Here are the photos that we got!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I began to read the Secret today. I have already come across several interesting points. The most interesting concept to me is to think about what you do want instead of about what you don't want. Here is a quote in the book by Bob Doyle:

The law of attraction doesn't care whether you perceive something to be good or bad, or whether you do or don't want it. It's responding to your thoughts. So if you're looking at a mountain of debt feeling terrible about it, that's the signal you're putting out into the Universe. "I feel really bad because of all of this debt I've got." You're just affirming it to yourself. If you feel it on every level of your being. That's what you're going to get more of.

Based on this principle, I want to revise my affirmations:

1. Zoe WILL live!!
2. Zoe's tumor WILL only get smaller!
3. Zoe's tumor WILL shrink to absolutely nothing.
4. My precious little girl WILL be with me forever!
5. 
   
6. At Zoe's next MRI, her tumor WILL be smaller.
7. Zoe WILL be an extraordinary child!
8. Zoe WILL be in the 10% that live past two years.
9. Zoe WILL be a miracle baby.
10. Zoe's doctors WILL be amazed at how her tumor disappears!

I feel that these affirmations will be more productive affirmations than the ones I posted previously. I also have more affirmations to add that are new.

1. I WILL only look for the good that Zoe does.
2. Zoe's eyes WILL stay large and open.
3. Zoe's face WILL always be symmetrical.
4. Zoe WILL hit all of her milestones.
5. Zoe WILL be strong on both sides of her body.
6. Zoe WILL sleep with her eyes fully closed.

Because I could not think of a way to express my previous affirmation #5 in an entirely positive manner, I broke it down into several different affirmations. These are all neurological symptoms that the doctors told us to watch for. But I think that we have all caught ourselves over thinking the situation. Why isn't she sitting more? Why isn't she crawling yet? Why is she smiling crooked suddenly? All of these are valid questions, but I feel it is unhealthy to dwell too much. The truth is that Zoe sat alone for several hours today. The truth is that Zoe isn't the only baby I know her age that isn't crawling yet. The truth is that Zoe can smile perfectly symmetrically at times but many times is smiling in a funny crooked way. I don't think it has anything to do with the tumor and everything to do with her personality.

So now I am thinking about what I WANT instead of what I don't!! And now I'm asking you to affirm THESE affirmations with me instead of the old ones and let's get Zoe healthy!!

A Favorite Quote

My Dad read these two quotes to me yesterday morning and I wanted to share them with everyone else. They are from a book called Riches Within Your Reach.

Matter is spirit at a lower rate of vibration. When a patient is cured, it is spirit in the cell doing the healing according to its own inherent pattern. No doctor ever cured a patient. All he can do is to make it possible for the patient to heal himself. -Dr. Titus Bull

This was followed by. . .

And if that is true of the body, it is just as true of conditions around you. Matter---physical materials--- is spirit or Creative Force at a lower rate of vibration. The spirit or Creative Force is all around you. You are constantly forming it into mental molds, but more often than not these are dictated by your fears rather than your desires. Why not determinedly form only good molds? Why not insist upon the things you want? It is just as easy, and it works just as surely. -Robert Collier

My journal entry last night expounds on this principle much more and will be posted either late today or tomorrow.

October 14, 2009: A Clarification

I just received a phone call, and I feel that I need to clarify a few points about my last blog entry. Anything that was stated was my perception of reality. It is not cold, hard set in stone fact. It is simply my perception of what was going on around me.

I released this grudge publicly because it had been held very publicly. If you knew me over the past 2 1/2 years, I'm sure that you knew about this grudge as well. Because it had been held so publicly, I felt that in order for it to be properly released, it had to be done very publicly.

Don't get me wrong, there are a few other people that I was holding grudges against. However, they weren't nearly as big as this grudge or held nearly as publicly. So I didn't feel that they needed to be released as publicly.

In writing that blog, I was never intending to say that the person that I was holding the grudge against in any way caused what has happened to my family over the past 2 1/2 years. I was saying that I had caused what has happened because I was the one that held the grudge.

I was not trying to get in another shot or air any kind of dirty laundry. I felt the only way to truly help myself let it all go was to put it out there and then say that I have released it. I feel that I was truly able to do that. I sincerely apologize to anyone that was hurt or offended. It was not my intention for the blog to read wrong. It was truly my intention to release everyone from this grudge so that we could move on with out lives in a positive manner.

I hope that this clarifies what was said in the last blog and that there is no confusion.

Sunday, October 11, 2009: Letting Go

We took Zoe on her first trip to Watson's Mill Bridge State Park today. She absolutely loved it. She enjoys the outdoors so much!! She has been doing really well lately and I think she is pretty much back on schedule and back to normal.

I am in the prcess of washing all of our clothes in Borax to remove a lot of the harmful dyes. Tomorrow, I need to call a carpet cleaner and see if I can get them to come down and clean ourcarpets in Borax and bleach to remove the harmful dyes from it. I'm definitely nervous about the bleach part!! Zoe is still taking 1ml of Fucoydon and Eternity and 1/2 ml of Junior Max a day along with her probiotic. I can't increase her Junior Max yet because she has started to have loose stools again.

So I have one more affirmation today and here it is:

I WILL let go of all of my grudges.

You may be wondering what this has to do with Zoe. Well, I'll explain.

Over the past few weeks, I've been asking myself what Sean and I have done to deserve such heartache over the past 2 1/2 years. First, his accident. Then, my heart failure. Now, Zoe's brain tumor. The answer I always came up with was nothing. We weren't bad people. We aren't bad people. But there was always something nagging me that maybe, just maybe, we had done something without even realizing it. I know that the beginning of our relationship was shady because we met when he was still married, but I truly feel that we were meant to be. Surely we've already paid for that lapse in judgement.

And then my mom talked to me yesterday about a book that she is reading. The book talks about holding grudges and how it could damage your life. That made me think. I hold a grudge; I hold a big grudge that seems to be getting bigger. So, I though some more. Negative thoughts go along with grudges. There have been A LOT of negative thoughts in this house that go along with this grudge. Could negative thoughts be something that brought illness upon our house and family? To be honest, I really don't know. I do know on thing, though. I had never in my life experienced the kind of heartache and sadness that I have experienced since I started holding this grudge.

The grudge that I hold is against Sean's ex-wife. There are many reasons that I hold a grudge against her. I hold a grudge for a lot of different reasons that I feel are valid, but it's still a grudge. And I am coming to realize that this grudge is harmful. It's harmful to me. It's harmful to Sean. It's harmful to Zoe.

I refuse to let it be harmful any longer!

I went through all of this explanation for one purpose. Today, I'm letting my grudge go. I've held this grudge through 2 1/2 difficult and heartbreaking years that I wouldn't trade for anything.

But I will no longer allow this grudge to affect my life or the lives of those around me. It just isn't worth it. I know that I can't drop this grudge instantly and without work. It will take effort. I'm sure it will take a lot of effort.

But I can do it!

I'm letting go of this grudge!!

Zoe's Bracelets

We currently have silicone bracelets in just plain grey that say Brain Tumor Awareness. But we will be getting in some new ones in a few weeks. Here is what they will look like.

They will be $5 each and you will be able to get them at several locations around town. I will post locations when we get them in. IF they come in time, I will have them for sale at the Fall Festival in Watkinsville on October 17. If not, I will have the some grey Brain Tumor Awareness bracelets.

If you live out of town please mail a check or money order with a stamped, addressed envelope to:

Andie Freeman

179 Shadow Lake Drive

Arnoldsville, GA 30619

Let me know if you would like the grey or the pink and grey and if you would like toddler, youth, or adult for the size.

Please let me know if you have any questions!!

Thank you so much!!